Breaking free from emotions that control us.
Guilt says “I owe you.”
Its to pay back debt – real or imagined
The dictionary defines GUILT as”a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.”
In other words, guilt has two components—the actual offense and the feelings that accompany it.
The dictionary defines SHAME as “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.”
Question your heart – question your feelings – challenge your motives.
Who really knows the heart? – Jeremiah 17:9 – HE DOES – He created you, He is the only one who knows your intentions, your motivates and actions. Spend time with Him – He will show things to you!
A good question to ask: WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS?
Post modern idea that we need to follow your dreams, follow your heart, your feelings are truth. That is not what the Bible says. What if we questioned our heart and motives before the Lord and asked for the true direction from Holy Spirit.
12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
For me guilt, its heavy, its sticking, its a burden that we can get to comfortable about.
PICK UP THE BAG! ITS HEAVY IN FRONT OF YOU – SO YOU CANT SEE
ITS A LOSE OF PERCEPTIVE
ITS A LOSE OF VISION
IT LEADS TO DEPRESSION
IT LEADS TO SEPARATION
IT LEADS TO ANXITY
IT LEADS TO SHUTTING OTHERS OUT
IT LEADS TO SELF FOCUS
Makes you want to withdraw…. – Community is a gift a GOD DESIGNED GIFT – Church is Gods plan A for the world – no one else is coming. We need each other.
Psalm 38 The Message (MSG)
A David Psalm
1-2 Take a deep breath, God; calm down— don’t be so hasty with your punishing rod. Your sharp-pointed arrows of rebuke draw blood my backside smarts from your caning.
3-4 I’ve lost twenty pounds in two month because of your accusation. My bones are brittle as dry sticks because of my sin. I’m swamped by my bad behavior, collapsed under gunnysacks of guilt.
5-8 The cuts in my flesh stink and grow maggots because I’ve lived so badly. And now I’m flat on my face feeling sorry for myself morning to night. All my insides are on fire, my body is a wreck. I’m on my last legs; I’ve had it— my life is a vomit of groans.
9-16 My heart’s about to break; I’m a burned-out case. Cataracts blind me to God and good; old friends avoid me like the plague. My cousins never visit, my neighbors stab me in the back. My competitors blacken my name, devoutly they pray for my ruin. But I’m deaf and mute to it all, ears shut, mouth shut. I don’t hear a word they say, don’t speak a word in response. What I do, God, is wait for you, wait for my Lord, my God—you will answer! I wait and pray so they won’t laugh me off, won’t smugly strut off when I stumble.
17-20 I’m on the edge of losing it— the pain in my gut keeps burning. I’m ready to tell my story of failure, I’m no longer smug in my sin. My enemies are alive and in action, a lynch mob after my neck. I give out good and get back evil from God-haters who can’t stand a God-lover.
21-22 Don’t dump me, God; my God, don’t stand me up. Hurry and help me; I want some wide-open space in my life!
Handling our Guilt. Once we start to feel remorseful about our wrongdoing, we often fail to respond to our guilt in a healthy manner.
How do you typically handle feelings of guilt?
The Purpose of Healthy Guilt. (Which we call our Moral compass, our conscience. Guilt is actually a God-given emotion. It has at least three functions:
- to prompt us to ask for forgiveness from those we hurt
- to motivate us to make restitution whenever we can
- and to draw us back to the Lord. In terms of our relationship with the Lord, the solution to guilty feelings is simple.
Many believers are unable to receive God’s forgiveness due to the emotional programming they’ve received from their upbringing, their church, or their culture. For instance, their parents might have expected them to be perfect, so they have a difficult time accepting ourselves when they make moral mistakes.
Or, other authority figures may have emphasized what horrible and shameful children they were when they did anything wrong and refused to comfort the children after disciplining them.
How can you escape these negative patterns of dealing with guilt?
The secret is to train your mind to believe God’s truth—found in His Word—instead of your feelings.
If you feel guilty after confessing your sins, you know your feelings are not lining up with God’s truth. Find Scriptures that talk about God’s forgiveness and your righteousness in Christ, such as Colossians 1:21-22.
21 This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. 22 Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.
23 But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. The Good News has been preached all over the world
Christ’s death made a way for you to be completely free from the guilt of sin—not only the offense but also the feelings that accompany it. Admit your guilt to God and those you offended, make restitution when you can, and return to living in a manner that pleases the Lord.
HEALTHY GUILT – UNHEALTHILY GUILT – SHAME
Guilt causes stress and reduces effectiveness and strips your JOY! – JOY WHICH IS THE STRENGTH WE HAVE FROM JESUS
ITS ROBBING YOU FROM A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM!
There are two main types of guilt. Healthy Guilt
Some steps that may help you dealing with Healthy Guilt
- Apologizing to the person or people ( What happened in public deal with in public, what happened in private deal with in private)
- Making amends as soon as you can (Dont waste your passion on other people, don’t waste all your energy telling everyone about it, deal with the actual issue)
- Changing your behavior. – REPENTANCE! True repentance
- Accepting your faults and moving on. In the words of our dear friend ELSA – LET IT GO
Unhealthy guilt is when you feel guilty for things that are imaginary or beyond your control. It can be hard to shift, but you can manage your feelings by:
- Understanding what you can and can’t control.
- Not measuring your worst days to other peoples highlight reals on Instagram and Facebook!
- Being assertive, honest and humble with those who seek to make you feel guilty. Be ready to listen
- The situation is normally worse in your head with the story you have created
- Stop – SHOULDING on yourself
- Is HE LORD of your life? – God doesn’t play well with other Gods. What or Who have you given your life to… Better said – Who or What is REALLY LORD of your heart (or life) What is leading your life?